I NEED an SUV

Summertime means VACATION! But if you travel with two women like I do (1 grown and 1 who thinks she is grown), you know that vacation also means baggage – lots of it. They are prepared for every occasion that may arise. Should a fire ever occur while we are away on a trip, my wife and daughter will probably not lose one stitch of clothing – they will all be along on the trip. And my daughter has to take about every toy, book, and stuffed animal she owns whenever she goes away. I am praying for God to bless me with an SUV (preferably this one).

Unfortunately many of us also carry a lot of extra emotional and spiritual baggage, and we never seem to completely unload it. Jesus stated His reason for coming very clearly: “. . . I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10). Jesus did not die on the cross so we could continue to be burdened with guilt, shame, and sin. He came to set us free to enjoy life the way it was meant to be enjoyed! So let me suggest some spiritual bags you might want to empty so you can enjoy your summer vacation a lot more abundantly.

First there is the garment bag of unconfessed sin. Some people think that maybe there is some sin hidden in their past that they have forgotten to confess and that although they have forgotten it, God knows about it and He is withholding a blessing until we finally remember it and confess it. Nothing could be further from the truth. As a matter of fact, our sin prevents God from absolutely nothing. If something limited Him then He would be God, would He? Unconfessed sin only prevents us. It is like wax in our spiritual ears that prevents us from hearing God as He speaks to us. Confession clears our heart and restores our sensitivity to the Holy Spirit. Unconfessed sin is both KNOWN to us and HARBORED by us like those attitudes, actions, and affections we are fully aware of that we know go against God’s plan and standard for our lives. So let me challenge you to zip open the garment bag of your heart and make sure you have removed all of the dirty laundry. It is high time you get with God and agree with Him about your sin and quit trying to ignore it, hide it, or rationalize. Admit it for what it is and get it out of your life. 1 John 1:9 teaches us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” If we admit our culpability and own up to our sin, the blood of Jesus forgives – as though we had not even committed the sin.

Then there is the overnight bag of guilt. There are two kinds of guilt – real and imagined. Real guilt is more a forensic issue than anything else. Real guilt can best be illustrated by its application in the legal system. In that context guilt is a label that identifies that an individual is responsible for the commission of a particular crime. He DID it. Not questions about it. We handle real guilt by doing what I wrote in the previous paragraph.

BUT, the guilt that is so often in our spiritual suitcase is not this real guilt, but it is rather an imagined, self-imposed guilt. We committed a sin in the past and we still feel bad about it even though we have confessed it and Jesus has forgiven us. We can unpack the overnight bag when we forgive ourselves. When we fail to forgive ourselves we belittle the work of Christ on the Cross and say that it really didn’t work. We may not verbalize that feeling, but in truth that is the attitude we take – “Jesus couldn’t forgive me for that.” If words mean anything – and they do – there is no sin too bad to be forgiven and no number of sins too many to be forgiven. God’s forgiveness is deep and wide. So, cut yourself some slack. Jesus has forgiven you . . . what makes you think you have higher standards than Him? "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." - John 8:36

The final piece I want to challenge you to unload is the suitcase of bitterness. Bitterness is a lingering feeling of discontent over a circumstance or set of circumstances or a lingering spirit of unforgiveness toward someone who has done something to hurt you. This is probably the most damaging piece of luggage we carry. Sometimes when we come home from a trip, we get all the bags in from the car, but the suitcase remains in the bedroom floor for days. Rather than empty it and putting the contents in their place, we step over and around the suitcase, allowing it to cramp us, even stumbling over it from time to time. We do the same with the hurts in our lives. We get the idea that life has dealt us a raw hand or that someone has treated us unfairly. You know who is the one who suffers from bitterness the most? The one who harbors it and refuses to put it in it place. Just like the duffle bag of guilt is full of instances in which we refuse to forgive ourselves, the suitcase of bitterness is full of instances where we chose not to extend grace and forgiveness to others.

The book of Hebrews gives us an ominous warning about holding on to bitterness:

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. (Hebrews 12:15)

Bitterness is an insipid canker that eats away at the one who harbors it and infects all others who come into contact with it. Have you ever known a person who is holding a grudge against someone? They are no fun to be around, are they? They let their discontent be known and they spread their poison to anyone who will listen. Do you REALLY want to be that person? Is it possible that someone right now is reading this line and thinking of you? Oh sure, for a short period we can zip up the suitcase and ignore the contents, but it is always there, always in the way, always causing us to stumble?

It is high time to unpack and put away all this baggage. Confess your sins to God and be assured that you will receive His forgiveness. He promises it based on His faithfulness and righteousness. Then forgive yourself and forgive others. Summer vacation is a lot more fun when you can travel light.

Grace on Steroids

I think Jason Giambi has gotten a bad rap. For those of you who do not follow sports, Jason is a professional baseball player. He is one of several who testified to a federal grand jury about drug use in pro baseball, and allegedly during his testimony he confessed to taking steroids to enhance his muscle building abilities and to rehabilitate more quickly from injuries.

Recently, Jason made a rather interesting statement about the previous few years of baseball when steroid use was though to be rampant:

"I was wrong for doing that stuff. What we should have done a long time ago was stand up — players, ownership, everybody — and said: 'We made a mistake.'"[1]

Since making that statement, Major League Baseball’s commissioner, Bud Selig, has forced Giambi to meet with George Mitchell who, on behalf of MLB, is conducting an investigation into drug use and baseball. Selig – who during the years in question served as both a team owner and commissioner – has threatened Giambi with a suspension if he doesn’t testify.

What bothers me about all of this is that a man is owning up to a past mistake, coming clean. He is clearly and unequivocally admitting his culpability and calling it what is was – wrong. What more can you ask a man to do. In fact, in my book, I have gained much respect for Jason. He stands in stark contrast in a day and age when most men and women try to deny or deflect the blame for their wrong actions. Not a one of us is perfect; we have all failed at some time or another. We may not want to admit it or take responsibility for it, but the reality is the same.

Unfortunately, even in church circles we have fallen prey to this same mentality. We have totally missed out on what I believe to be the most important word in the Bible – grace. Grace is messy and scary. You see, some are afraid that if we extend grace then we let people off the hook, we fail to hold them accountable for their actions. But since when is it MY job to keep people on the hook, since when did God delegate to me the task of making sure others pay for their wrongs? I have enough of my own to worry about without policing the rest of the population.

So here is the challenge – it has two dimensions. First, let’s stop the blame-shifting and own up to our imperfection. If not, then our sin is like the elephant in the living room. We fail to own up to it though we and everyone else clearly can see it’s there. There is nothing weak and small in admitting that we stand in need of God’s grace. We all need to be forgiven. I am just as bad as Jason Giambi – probably worse. But the blood of Jesus Christ has washed me clean and in God’s eyes – the only ones that matter – I am declared righteous. I didn’t earn righteousness, and certainly I do not live it, but God has chosen to endow me with the title “Righteous One” based on what Jesus did for me.

The second dimension of my challenge is to create safe places for others to come clean. All to often we are like the baseball commissioner and when someone confesses the obvious – their sin – we cast them out, belittle them, write them off, suspend them rather than loving them, respecting them, and restoring them to the life God intends for them to have.

So, if you are perfect, I will just go ahead and warn you. Stay away from me, I will defile you. But if you, like me, are all to acquainted with your failures, you are my brother or my sister. We will not excuse each other’s sin, but we will not disqualify each other. We will love each other and help each other be who God intends us to be. Wanna join my team?

Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. – Galatians 6:1

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives. – 1 John 1:9-10

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[1] USA Today, May 15, 2007 “Giambi: Baseball’s apology needed over steroid issue.” By Bob Nightingale. http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/al/yankees/2007-05-17-giambi-steroid-issue_N.htm

When God Says "NO"

One of the most difficult things a daddy has to say is “no.” Because I love her so much, I am tempted to give Bekah whatever she asks for, but also because I love her so much, I have to say no sometimes. I love to see her smiling and happy, and I want to do everything in my power to see to it that is what I see in her all the time. But parental responsibility demands I take the long term outlook – if I gave her everything she wanted, she would always expect to get what she wants. And life doesn’t always turn out that way . . . ask Paris Hilton.

By occasionally saying no to my daughter, I teach her to accept gracefully those times she cannot have what she wants and I train her to deal with those times creatively. Granted, she doesn’t understand the complexities of all of that at such a tender age. All she knows is that daddy said no and that disappoints her. In her mind, daddy should be a human vending machine, dispensing what ever she wants as long as she pushes all the right buttons.

Come to think of it, many of us as adults approach our Heavenly Father with much the same attitude. We view God as a heavenly ATM machine who automatically should dispense to us whatever we request as long as we insert the ATM card of prayer, enter our PIN of saying “in Jesus’ name,” and press all the right buttons by saying all the right things in our prayers. Then when God says no, we are disappointed, disillusioned, and dismayed. But sometimes, for our own good LONG TERM, God says, “No.” If we keep in mind some fundamental truths about the nature and ways of our Father, we can avoid the hurt that comes when He does turn down our request.

We know that God loves to give us what is good for us.

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! – Matthew 7:11

Everything we have that is good comes from God and everything that is good He has already given us.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. – James 1:17

Sometimes when God tells us no it is because He wants us to learn to depend more on His strength and power, as He did for Paul when he asked God 3 times to remove his “thorn in the flesh:”

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:8-10

A number of blessings in my life can be attributed to God’s NO. There are a few times that had God granted my prayer, I would have missed out on great blessings or I would have encountered great tribulation and turmoil. I can thank God for specific blessings that have come my way because He chose to tell me no. So let me encourage you to not lose heart when God tells you no. He has good reason for it, and you will be better off for Him telling you know. God has a specific plan for your life – goal He wants to accomplish in you – and sometimes He will have to say no to move you closer to that goal. So hang in there, He is for you not against you and His no is for your good.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11

Iron Chef - Low Carb Style

I love the Food Network show Iron Chef. What I like most about the show is the challenge each chef has making something out of a set of ingredients that they neither chose nor had any prior knowledge of what they were. The chefs are forced to creatively deal with what is given to them in a high pressure, time controlled environment.

I like the show because it is a great lesson on life and handling our circumstances. Just three months ago, the doctor informed me that I am diabetic. I had a choice to make, would I wallow in self-pity, denial, and anger; or would I face the circumstance with faith in God and His ability to help me deal creatively with the situation. I purposefully chose the latter; in fact, I chose to attack my diabetes. I maintain an average glucose level of 95-105.

The disease has forced me to make some radical changes in what and how I eat, but I chose rather to see it as a blessing. The loss of weight (I have lost 20 lbs.), change in diet, and incentive to exercise puts me at a much lower risk of heart disease and other possible medical infirmities, and I am healthier now than I would have been had I never been diagnosed with diabetes. My greatest challenge now is finding the money to buy new, smaller pants.

I mention all of this to you as an encouragement to think positively and creatively about your circumstances. James 1:2-4 provides a solid Biblical framework for looking at circumstances in this way:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Our trials are actually a source for pure joy! Why? Because through trials we trust God, strengthen our faith, and become better equipped to live for Him and serve others. And the best part of all of this is that WE HAVE ABILITY TO CHOOSE how we respond to life’s hard knocks.

James reminds us what to do in our time of testing in verse 5:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

If we choose the path of complaining, self-pity, or denial, we miss out on a wonderful work God wants to do in our lives. But if we choose to allow God to use our circumstances to shape us, we are all the better for having those experiences. Trials are coming into our lives whether we want them or not; it just makes much more sense to me to be pro-active and learn from God in them than to be reactive and remain miserable with nothing to show for it.

So, given the ingredients of your life, what are you going to cook? The choice is YOURS.

Low carb for me, please.

Get the Cat Out of the Cradle

In 1974, Harry Chapin recorded the song, “Cat’s in the Cradle.” The song is the story of a father who so busy that he missed out on significant events in his son’s life. The son took his first steps while the father was away. When the son wanted to play, the father was too busy and couldn’t make the time, but always promised that he would at some point in the future.

Unfazed by his father’s apathy the son always replied with the lyric: "I'm gonna be like you, dad, you know I'm gonna be like you." As the song progresses, the tables are turned. The father grows older and wishes that his son, now grown and out on his own, had time for him. True to his promise, the son grew up to be like his father and promises to slow down some day and spend time with his dad.

An interesting fact about the song is that it was actually written by Chapin’s wife Sandy, herself a poet and writer, years before their son Joshua was born. When she showed him the lyric he was not all that interested, but the birth of their son put things in a new light for him. Children have a way of doing that for us.

There is an old saying, “Time is money,” and nothing is truer when it comes to our kids. Many parents try to substitute things for time. Maybe it is because our kids are always asking for things that we get the idea that is what they need most from us – stuff. Certainly it is a major responsibility of fathers to provide what kids need (not always “want”), but it is of even more importance to spend the most valuable currency of time with them.

I am not suggesting that you spend time with your kids, because time is not an expense. Time is rather an investment. I am suggesting you invest more time with your kids. You see, when we buy things, we “spend” on our children, and an expense loses its value as the object gets older, worn, and eventually unusable. But time is not spent, it is “invested,” and an investment gains value over the course of time. More than anything my dad bought me, the things I remember most are the times we played ball together, coached ball together, played golf, worked on stuff. I remember the “being” more than the “getting.”

So, dads, cut the overtime, turn off the T.V., step away from the computer. Get out in the yard or down on the floor and play with those kids. They grow up so fast and though time is money, it is valuable because it is unredeemable. You cannot buy back years in your son or daughter’s life. More than anything you could spend on them, they need the investment of your undivided attention and time. The will grow up to be like you . . . what do you want them to be?

The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank

Cutting grass was a spiritual event for me Saturday. It all began when a 4 foot long King Snake wished me good morning. “The King” slithered out from the same fence line where the evening before I cleaned out briars and brush by hand. After we exchanged pleasantries, he sought shade under a nearby cedar. Needless to say, I didn’t cut as close to that tree as I usually do. The King had been traumatized enough so I decided to cut him some slack.

Most of our 1.5 acre lot is field grass and dandelions. The area around the septic tank however is a verdant, lush, and fertile patch in the middle of barrenness – reminiscent of a book by the late Erma Bombeck, The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank.

Our culture seems to have a “contentment” problem; never satisfied and always looking for greener grass. Billy Donovan exemplified that discontentment this past week. For the last two NCAA basketball seasons, Donovan led the Florida Gators to consecutive national titles. He was on top of the world when the NBA came calling in the form of the Orlando Magic, offering him the opportunity – and the bucks – to coach professional players; an opportunity he quickly seized.

Shortly after being introduced as the new Orlando coach, he began to have second thoughts. As the events of the week unfolded, he asked for and was granted a release from him Orlando contract and convinced his former employer to take him back. His “heart was just not in it,” he said. He got what he thought he wanted only to discover he already had what he really wanted.

I can’t be too hard on Coach Donovan, he is a good man who made a mistake. In my profession I know many who thought they were moving to a better situation only to find that the reason the “grass looked greener” is because it was completely immersed in organic fertilizer. People get the crazy notion that life would be better if they could just have a new spouse, house, job, car, or any number of equally dissatisfying temporal objects. The Bible, however, teaches us that contentment in an inside job – a matter of attitude:

“… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” – Philippians 4:11

Paul understood contentment is a learned behavior. God had ALWAYS been faithful to provide for him physically (4:13) and materially (4:19). If he didn’t have it, he didn’t need it. If he needed it, God would make sure he had it.

Let’s trust God, confident that if there is something we don’t have it is because we do not need it. If you do not remember anything else I wrote, please remember this: I will never be satisfied with what I want until I am satisfied with what I have. Contentment isn’t waiting to be purchased or acquired, it is already ours, if only we choose it as an attitude.

I hope The King is contented.

Time to Get Dirty

Church work is pretty “tidy” work . . . it shouldn’t be, but it is. For most part, church folks are pretty good folks. Sure, they have their catalog of faults and failures, but they generally are people who are trying to grow and improve their lives.

Every now and then a church experiences an event that allows people to see there is a not so tidy world out there. Vacation Bible School has been such an event for me. There are children who live in a messy world – messy physically for sure (that’s kids), but also messy emotionally and more importantly spiritually.

Much of the mess is self-inflicted, but it is a mess nonetheless. Some parents choose to anesthetize themselves to their plight and plunge themselves further into the mess they have created. They go from partner to partner, rely on charity, cheat, steal, beg, and borrow – anything to avoid taking responsibility for their lives and for the children God has given them.

Let me suggest some practical, though difficult, things you and I can do to hopefully stop this blight in our society.

First of all, begin with an honest self-evaluation. Are their character flaws that you really hope you don’t pass on to your children? Step up to the plate, repent, ask God for help and let Him turn your life around. Be honest with your kids about your faults – don’t hide them, they already see them anyway – and honest about the consequences you bear because of them.

A second suggestion is to understand the importance of our children and our roles as parents. To say that parenthood is an awesome responsibility is a gross understatement. Our kids needs four very clear and specific things from us: (1) sacrifical love, (2) unconditional acceptance, (3) confident guidance and structure, and (4) quality face to face time. If you are the father of a daughter (God, help us!!!!) be the kind of man you want her to marry, if you are the father of a son, BE THE MAN YOU WANT HIM TO BE! If you are a mother with a son, be the kind of woman you want him to marry, if the mother of a daughter, be the lady you want her to grow up to be.

A third request is to look for children around you who are missing the influence of a Godly parent and invest in the life of that child. Surely, men, you know of some boys that have no real father figure at home. Be a man for them to look to and see Jesus. Ladies, undoubtedly you know some girls who could use a positive influence. Take them under your wing and love them. Show them what a real lady is and prepare her for life. Help them stop the cycle in which their parents have them trapped.

Then finally, be a mentor to a young couple who have just gotten married or just had their first child. Show them how a man and wife should live together in a Godly household. Model relationship, communication, and parenting skills for them. Only heaven knows the full impact of what can happen when we invest in the lives of others. Our kids, at risk kids, and young families can benefit from the insight we have to give. After all, isn’t that what Jesus left us here to do . . . influence our world?

“You are the salt of the earth. . .” – Matthew 5:13

“And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.” – 2 Timothy 2:2

“Then they [the older women] can train the younger women to love their husbands and children…” – Titus 2:4

Am I Childish?

Have you ever noticed the expression on Jesus’ face in all the old pictures of Him on the walls of homes and churches? He always has a serious, dour expression. But recently I have seen some sketches of Jesus with a smile on His face, and that is the way I like to think of Him. After all, this was the man who said, “I have spoken these things to you so that My joy might remain in you and so that your joy may be full.” That description doesn’t sound like a man who is melancholic or somber to me. But then again from the lack of joy in some Christians . . . well, another blog for another day.

But one of the sketches that appeals to me is a picture of a smiling Jesus playing with children. Children had a special place in His heart when He was here on earth, and no doubt children maintain that special place as He sits enthroned in heaven. On one occasion, people were bringing their kids to Jesus for Him to touch them and bless them. Jesus’ official Cold Water Committee – a/k/a His disciples – put an end to that “frivolous nonsense.” Surely the Master had more important things to do than to be bothered with a bunch of rug rats! But Jesus sharply rebuked that Committee and said:

“Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of God belongs to those who are like these children. I tell you the truth, anyone who doesn’t receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” (Mark 10:14-15)

I am afraid that we “grown-ups” have lost our ability to approach our Heavenly Father like children. Maybe over the course of time we have become jaded, hurt by disappointments and let-downs. Or maybe we have become so successful we have somehow gotten the notion that we have what we have due to our own hard work, sweat, skill, or ingenuity. Could it be that as we have grown older we have just gotten to busy with adult stuff, or too sophisticated for child’s play? Whatever the reason, it happens to us all at some point – we get too grown up for our own good.

One of the most frustrating childhood struggles for a parent is what we call “separation anxiety.” We are going through a second round of that now with Bekah. She just wants either mommy or daddy (or better yet, BOTH) with her at all times. For a whole school year she cried almost every morning when we dropped her off for just 3 hours of Parents’ Morning Out. She had fun after we left, but she hated the separation. Same thing happens with Sunday school, children’s church, Vacation Bible School.

But why am I not like that with my Heavenly Father? Why am I not like the psalmist who wrote:

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? (Psalm 42:1-2)

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:6)

No, instead, I more closely resemble the lament of Robert Robinson in the last verse of the great hymn that he wrote “Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing:”

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, prone to leave the God I love.

I know that one day my daughter who now feels as though she must have mommy and daddy’s undivided attention will one day ask us to not follow her so closely as she walks through the mall. The time will come when we will WISH she had wanted to spend time with “the folks” and talk. And, sadly, sometimes I am at that stage with my Heavenly Father from time to time. I get too busy, too tired, too successful, too “something” and forget I am still a child who needs His attention and loving care. I need His presence, I need some quality time with God.

Don’t read this so judgmentally because I have a hunch you have been there too. Whether intentional or accidental you have come to the realization at some point in your life that separation from God’s daily presence in your life no longer causes anxious moments. You have survived days – maybe even months and years – when the presence of God was no more than a second thought or at best a Sunday thought for you.

The good news for both of us is that God is still near. Just because we have gotten too grown-up to be His child, He has not stopped being our Father. I may get a little impatient from time to time when Bekah seems to want so much of me, but my Heavenly Father NEVER NEVER NEVER grows weary of my wanting His attention. NEVER! He is here with me now, He is only a prayer away.

From this moment on, I resign my position as a spiritual grown-up. I renounce every false notion that I achieved or attained anything of any value whatsoever on my own. I am HIS KID and I want my Father!